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A MOTHER'S DAY GREETING
by Michael J. Gurfinkel, Esq.
Mother's Day is a time when children reflect on
all the wonderful things and the sacrifices their mothers have
made for them. It is also the time when Mothers feel blessed with
the gift of motherhood, and feel the indescribable joy of being
surrounded by their children.
Unfortunately, for some mothers, Mother's Day is
not such a happy time. Instead, it is a time of sadness and emptiness.
Many Filipina mothers come to me for consultation, and share the
same sad story of the sacrifices they have made for the sake of
their children. They were forced to leave their young children
behind in the Philippines, for a chance to give them a better
future, to be able to send them to good schools, for their food,
clothes, and education.
And yet these mothers would do anything just to
be with their children again. Now that these mothers are settled
in this foreign land of America, they want to concentrate on bringing
their family here in the United States: to be able to hug and
hold them, and share with their children every single moment of
happiness, triumph, and success.
Every mother who had to leave their children in
the care of relatives or friends goes through unimaginable loneliness
and anxiety, as they work endless hours to provide a better life
for their family back home in the Philippines. The need and desire
to provide a better future for their children ironically cause
untold suffering for both the mother who left, and the children
left behind.
The mother comes home from work, finding an empty
house, devoid of the love and laughter of her children. She calls
her children, especially during important occasions, such as Christmas
Day, New Year's Day, birthdays, graduations, sharing with them
the happiness of the occasion. But as soon as the mother puts
down the phone, the joy fades, and the pain of separation becomes
even more deep. She sees friends' children, and remembers her
own children back home.
The children who are left behind, on the other hand,
grow up without the love, care and guidance of a loving mother.
True, they are able to go to the best schools, buy clothes, and
eat good meals every day, but all they really want is to be with
"Mommy."
Every time I go to the Philippines, I see Filipinos
who can buy their clothes and food because many of them have mothers,
or fathers, or children who are working abroad, sending them dollars
for their upkeep. But behind their capacity to buy material things,
lies that empty feeling caused by the absence of their parents
or children.
I have had the privilege of seeing many mothers
and children reunited in America, and I can tell you that there
is no better joy in knowing that they can continue pursuing better
opportunities together without being away from each other again.
There have been many joyful reunions between mothers and children
that I am happy and proud to have been a part of.
It's Mother's Day again this Sunday, and I continue
to look forward to helping more mothers get their ultimate Mother's
Day wish ² to be with their children again.
For some mothers in the United States, the wait
for the magical reunion with their children seems endless. Because
of their lack of immigration status, they must spend year after
year away from their children. I hope that they are doing something
to legalize their status, so that they can spend Mother's Day
and other important holidays with their children in the future.
On this Mother's Day, I send my love and greetings
to my own mother, who was an immigrant herself, who left her country,
family and friends to look for a better life in America. So, although
I was born in the U.S., I am very much able to understand what
my clients have gone through, since my parents were immigrants
and went through the same experiences as my clients. Special greetings
go to my mother-in-law, whom I call "Nanay". Most of
all, to the mothers who made the supreme sacrifice of separation,
for the sake of their own children.
To all the mothers of the world, Happy Mother's
Day!!!
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